Thursday, June 17, 2010

just suddenly remember this blog that i started with 2 friends as a collective of spinsters once upon a time in our lives. So much memories. 

love is like a cigarette

it is bad for your health and it burns out in the end anyway.
it's easy to get tempted and it's hard to stop.

i just quit smoking.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

leap and fall

someone once said to me, trusting someone takes a leap of faith.

but when u leap too high, you fall damn hard.

a word a day

Annus Mirabalis is not some vulgar words as u might think, nor is it some unfortunate foreign-language name, this rather bad-looking word actually means something nice - "Wonderful Year" in Latin.

this adds on to the only 2 other Latin phrases i know, my school mottos..
Filiae Melioris Aevi
Auspicium Melioris Aevi

in no time, i'll be speaking Latin. it's good not to be understood. Things that people do not understand are usually deemed to be good and best of all, it intimidates.

Monday, June 14, 2010

anti social blogger

i am one of those bloggers who blog because i think nobody will read it anyway.
so i hope not too many people read my blog. i turn to blogging because i kept losing my notebook. so it's sort of a source to vent out and scribble thoughts.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

On quitting the cigarettes

For a long while, I thought I will never quit smoking.

I have not touch a cigarette for exactly one month and 14 days now. I have been smoking for more than 2 decades, quitting smoking is a bit like quitting some kind of drugs, but easier. Both takes extreme determination, but with smoking, you do not suffer any physical discomfort at all, as opposed to drugs, in fact, you actually feel physically and mentally better.

In the last 45 days, whenever things go wrong, there is something automatic in my body that will trigger the "need cigarette" button, that is why i failed in my previous attempts to quit, because i would tell myself "it has been such a shitty day, i shouldn't deprive myself of just a few cigarettes." so i never quit. because things go wrong every other 2 days, being a designer faced with mostly difficult clients.. which client is ever easy anyway? they all have their agenda, sometimes good ones so your suffering is more worth it, but sometimes bad ones, so it is truly suffering.

for close friends who know me all these years, they are obviously amazed/shocked/in complete disbelief that i actually quit. i told them the time is right and didnt want to say too much because i am afraid that i will be back at it.

Tonight, i really felt like a cigarette, and it is as painful to resist as hell. thank god i am home and all cigarettes have long been thrown away, so i just have to bite a slipper. 

For those friends who wondered why, just to ease the urge now, maybe i should remind myself publicly finally my reason for quitting so you can now all scorn at me in case i do pick up a cig -
my mum went for a major surgery recently and after that, she, as someone who can usually take much more physical pain that my dad, told us how unbearable the surgery was, and for reasons, this surgery can only administer localised anesthesia, so she is made aware of the surgery which lasted 2 hours and whether it is psychological or it is physical, she described to us the pain and it really breaks my heart and makes me cry. 

my mum has never ask of me anything. the only thing she constantly nagged at me over the years is to quit smoking. i was irritated all these years, i am not any more. it is such a small thing to do for her, if she could just be healthy for a long, long time.

this is a sort of a personal oath that i took.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

World Expo-ed - part1

The world expo is like an architecture wonderland, and it's actually very festive and fun!
i actually quite enjoyed myself. more pictures will follow..

i'm a winner!

i couldn't believe myself - one whole successful month of no smoking - BYE BYE CIGARETTES!!!
And thank god - no i did not put on an extra ounce. It is not true that you put on weight after you quit, all that crap about how your body increases its metabolism rate because of cigarettes and when you quit, your body sort of gets retarded and doesn't digest as fast and hence you become fat. Crap! 

I actually feel very happy with myself :)

and now if you will excuse me, i'm going to run in the green open fields with the sun behind me and scream - I'm a win-nnnaaaaaaa!!